What I mean is some paths just don’t fit. Hear me out. The same way you’re trying to zip up that dress, because you swear “it should fit,” is the same way that career path, love life , or version of yourself, does not fit you. I was a personal stylist, in retail and if I’ve learned anything else, I’ve learned it’s okay to be brutally honest with people. 

First of all, no one (including you) should be struggling to zip up a dress. If it’s difficult to zip up, honey that’s not your size. It’s ok. You’re beautiful anyway no matter the size of the garment. You want zipping up to be as smooth as possible. 

Well, I’ve come to learn it’s the same with changing careers. I’ve come to the conclusion that if it’s too much of a struggle to transition into a different industry either its just not for me, or there’s a skill set that I don’t have that I may want to discover. 

My interest just so happens to be in Tech. I’m a creative at heart. Even though I may not be tech savvy yet, I am willing to learn. If anyone is wondering, I’ve been curious about Artificial Intelligence and Digital Marketing for a while now. But that’s a different post. Lol 

I say all this to say when, choosing a path, if you’re constantly hitting a brick wall, and trying to fit into a mold that’s just not working out, maybe it’s time for you to sit down and be honest with yourself about what it is you really want. 

How do you want to evolve in this season of your life? Is it going back to school after being turned down from several companies for a job opportunity? Is it taking time to go out more often and enjoy life? Is it quitting dating apps for good? Is it putting your phone on DND because you need to prioritize your family and mental health? What does that path look like for you? 

Hey ladies! So, if you are single, start seeing Valentine’s Day as a day you give additional love to yourself. I’d like to call it, “Self Love Day”. When you change your perspective on Valentine’s Day, it helps you not have to feel uncomfortable or bummed out when you see couples popping up everywhere. So, here are some tips below that can add an upgrade to the holiday.

1. Treat yourself to a upscale spa. Just because you’re single, doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to be spoiled. You deserve it. If going to the spa isn’t what you’re comfortable with or currently able to do, enjoy a relaxing epsom salt bath with a bath bomb, rose petals. Light some candles, dim the light, play some relaxing music on Pandora or YouTube and there you have it.

2. Indulge in some of your favorite movies/marathon series. Try watching some classic movies like, The Unsinkable Molly Brown, Pillow Talk, or Gigi. If you want to enjoy a good laugh, you might like The Good Place, Keeping up Appearances, or Family Reunion.

3. Have some fun at a dance class! This is one of the ways that you’ll feel vibrant, radiant and full of life. I suggest belly dancing, salsa, hip hop, etc… Whatever suits you. Oh, and make sure you dress nice also, because you never know who you may meet. Lol Life is funny that way.

4. Enjoy the atmosphere at a posh restaurant. Go and enjoy a bit of luxury in your life. Why not enjoy it with your girlfriends? If you’re dining out by yourself, see it as an opportunity to meet new people or simply enjoy being present in the moment. I can’t explain how great I felt treating myself to very reputable restaurant right after my past breakup, years ago. Ahhh-mazing!

5. Splurge on yourself. When you’re single, you don’t have to wait until the man of your dreams finds you. You can have a little fun and spoil yourself (if you have the play money saved up.) Enjoy a shopping trip at Saks Fifth Avenue. Fly 1st class (or business class) to a country you’ve always wanted to travel to. Go to a nail salon that has a luxurious ambiance and enjoy getting your mani and pedicure done in that environment. See that you deserve to be treated like royalty, because you are.

Also remember this. You are worthy of love. Just because you are single, it does not mean that life has to end. It’s only just the beginning… Your new beginning. I hope this helps you, encourages you, and adds joy to your heart. Until the next blog post. Take care. 💋

As I transition from the type of woman I used to be, into the woman I am now, I do know that not everyone will celebrate your progress. There are going to be people who may come in your life to remind you of your past failures and mistakes, and simply act like they never made any. Some may act like they never even noticed or treat you like you never existed. But your success, your progress, your transition, your elevation has nothing to do with whether they see it or not. It’s about you.

It’s about you doing this for yourself. It’s about you making a decision to do something different. Sometimes it may be deciding to cut off some toxic people from your life. It might be learning a new skill. You may be led to adopt a new attitude. You may find a new podcast about money management. You may dare to create a college fund for your children, so they wont have to go through the same things you went through.

Regardless of the positive choices you’ve made and the paths you chosen that led you out of the pit…out of depression…even away from being someone you wasn’t proud of being… I’m here to let you know, that it’s okay to celebrate the little successes you’ve made. There will be times where you have a group of friends to support your progress with. There will be times when you’ll find a support group to help you through your season and will celebrate your progress as well.

That too is okay for a season in your life, and then you evolve. Then there will be times where you may only have no one to celebrate your progress but yourself. That’s when you develop the inner strength to encourage yourself. That’s when you learn to look yourself in the mirror and say to yourself, “Hey girl. I’m so proud of you. You did it!” Or “Wow, you are so beautiful self. I just want you to know, I love you.”

You learn to encourage yourself when you are alone. That’s when you learn not to let the passive aggressive remarks from others get to you, because you know who you are. You learn not to have to compete with others and make petty posts, because you understand your true validation comes from who you are in Christ.

Oh yeah, don’t get it twisted. There are petty posts out there lol. But that’s alright though. Because when you learn who you are, they don’t get to you. You learn how to compete with no one, but yourself and who you used to be.

This journey has taught me that, you will go through many ups and downs, but hey, who’s perfect? That’s what makes you human. That’s how you grow. That’s what makes you unbroken. Until the next blog post. Love always. Take care. 💋

I never expected to get to this point… The point of relearning to love myself again. Being a single mother has taught me the importance of loving myself and taking care of myself. Some of us were taught to just pour our all into our family and that’s it, but actually it’s just as important to pour into yourself as well.

What I mean is, taking some time to invest in your mental health because you guys, postpartum is very real and does affect how you take care of your child(ren). I’ve learned the hard way of going through that, without getting treated for it sooner. Along with that, I was in a toxic relationship, at the time, so that definitely added to me having depression. Which brings me to my next point. If the man you are having a child with is not going out of his way to pamper you and treat you like a queen, you don’t need him, sis. You can do better. You’re worth so much better. Actually, your value goes up because you are a mother! So don’t let anyone, including church members, colleagues, bosses, etc, to ever make you feel less than that. Not even the father of your child. Not even society itself. So what! YOU ARE VALUABLE! Period…

I’m passionate about this because recently I’ve seen an article of a single mother who committed suicide. No mother, especially a single mother should ever feel like that. If you do, I’m here to tell you, you don’t have to do that to yourself.

There is always another option. You are an amazing woman. Is being a single mother hard as hell? Yes! But you can still have a better life here on earth.

Your life doesn’t have to end and become miserable because you’re a mom. You can create a new vision for where you would like to be.

As a working mother, you can listen to podcasts that make you feel good. Driving to and from work? Listen to some music that puts you in a state of ease.

One of my favorite types of music I personally love is Lofi. Gospel music, Christian music, which ever floats your boat is also an amazing pick me up, while driving to and from work, or running errands, because you get those encouraging reminders that helps to keep you going.

You need to constantly receive and pour into yourself, in order to pour into your children. Surround yourself with a healthy community and/or at least one trusted person in your life. If you want to date for marriage, make sure this is a healthy connection and that he can pour into you in a healthy way. The reason for this, is that these things affect your motherhood in so many ways. These things can affect how you treat your child.

Last but not least, learn as much as you can about financial wealth, and find someone who inspires you. You want to look for someone who was in your situation and got out of it. Along with that, you want to grow your wealth, so no one preys on your vulnerability, gets rich off of you, and leaves you broke. Do not put all your financial eggs in one basket. I hope this helps someone. Until the next blog post. Take care. Live well. Be joyfully you without any apologies. 💋

Ok so, things didn’t work out with your significant other and you have to raise your child or children on your own. One of the first things you want to do is SAVE YOUR MONEY. SAVE! SAVE! SAVE! The reason why is because you want to go to therapy instead of following people or groups who tell you toxic views about men and relationships.

Another reason you want to save your money, is because it adds another layer of protection for you and your family. There are plenty of people out there who will use to family card to pull at your heart strings, just to sell you a dream and a fantasy. Based on my experience, I’m here to tell you DON’T DO IT! They only care about conserving their own wealth instead. You’re just an ATM to them. Instead of falling for the sad stories, place some money in a college fund aka 529, savings, and retirement fund for you so you can fully enjoy life to the fullest, and not have to continue working as you grow older.

Along with that, you might be tempted to act out of revenge to get back at your ex, nay sayers, and/or the judgmental woman in church, who looked coldly at you. Don’t do it. You’ll be wasting your time trying to get back at someone, who is enjoying their life, when you should be enjoying yours. One of the first things I did when I broke up with my ex, is spoil myself and spoil my daughter. I’ve treated myself to a really nice lunch at a 4 star restaurant, because I knew out of all the hell I’ve gone through, I deserved to be spoiled. Why not spoil myself and my daughter? That experience was one I would never forget. So yes, ladies. Treat yourself! Enjoy a reputable spa. Go get yourself that massage, facial, and the works. But also get therapy. Please choose a therapist that makes you feel comfortable.

The reason why, is because you want to get clarity on dating patterns you may have had. You also may want to see if there where any wounds from childhood you may have had so you won’t pass that down to your child(ren). I hope this helps someone out there. More posts like this to come.

What I’ve learned about dealing with disappointments and heartbreak is, it doesn’t have to be the end of your world. You can bounce back and get up again. So yeah, things don’t go the way you’ve planned, but that’s ok.

Because anything that is taken away from you only means that you’re going to be blessed with something better. You can apply this theory to every area in your life.

If you’re going through a breakup, or find out your significant other is being unfaithful, you can enroll in courses, go back to school, make new friends, etc.

Treat yourself and forgive yourself. Because while you’re angry at that guy, he’s out having a blast without caring about what you think. The best thing for you to do is to enjoy your life.

This is what I’ve learned to do years ago, and still doing now. As for me, I’m looking forward towards creating new chapters in my life.

You don’t have to wait until you’re married to enjoy your life, buy that home in a safer neighborhood, travel overseas (God willing through pandemic) pamper yourself, and etc… I pray this post brings hope, and comfort to those who need it. Until then, take care. ❤️

That thing you want…You see it. You want it…you can even taste it, but…you just can’t have it. Or that thing you want, is postponed for longer than what you expected. So what now? What do you do afterwards?

You learn to accept that maybe it wasn’t your time, but it doesn’t mean your time isn’t coming. You may even be left with a choice to stay angry and bitter, or decide to still be successful where you are, in either the same field and/or in something else.

You Achilles heel maybe loosing your job in corporate, but you can work as a virtual assistant. My point? Just because one part of you isn’t working, it doesn’t mean the other parts of you aren’t.

I believe the mind is a powerful thing. You can become successful in whatever field you choose. It’s just all about deciding to break those barriers in your mind. Your barriers could be negative thoughts in your mind.

For example: You’re not as great of a leader as this person, you’re not as successful as this person, you’re not as great of a player as that person. It’s a distraction to stop you from being your best self.

You may not be able to do this one thing that you love, but you can do something else. There’s always something else.

Like I said, the mind is something powerful. You can use that time to reinvent yourself. Take time to find something else you love. Give your love to that. Don’t worry about what others have to say about it. Your failures, your setbacks, your mistakes can only do one or the other. Keep you stuck and angry, or motivate you to rise above them… Anyway, I hope this helps someone. Until the next blog post. Take care. 💋

I’ve learned a lot about wearing wigs. Good quality and bad quality. When I first started out, I would wear inexpensive wigs. I loved the feeling I got, from wearing my first wig. It was long, straight, and dark brown. At the time, my real hair was down to my lower back.

I was often praised by my long natural hair. I would even let people touch it, for them to see that that was all my hair. After I became a parent, I didn’t have much time to take care of my hair like I used to and take care of my baby girl at the time, so I’d wash it, and put my hair up in a protective style.

I then began to understand why I would see so many new moms either wear their hair short, wear a wig, wear hair extensions, or in braids. So I thought, if I was going to wear a wig, I was at least going to purchase one that was close to my real hair length.

I loved that my wig didn’t cost much. I was proud to wear it to work, going out, running errands, I just loved it. It felt like me, but only amplified. However one thing I did not know, was inexpensive wigs did not last long. So I purchased another one.

Soon I wanted to wear different styles and colors of wigs. I’m talking curly, wavy, brown, red, short, mid length. Eventually, I was satisfied for a while, but that would last for a short while.

Finally, I thought to myself 🤔 “Why not try wigs that have real hair? At least they’ll last longer and I don’t have to keep buying more.” So that’s what I did. One thing I can say from my experience, is non synthetic wigs are the best way to go, if you prefer wearing wigs.

The reason why is because they do last longer, and you can easily manipulate them any way want. You also want to make sure you wash, condition, and moisturize your wigs, because you want to make sure they stay fresh and preserved.

You can also do this for synthetic wigs if you still desire to wear synthetic wigs instead. Another thing I’ve learned how to make my wig part to look realistic, by plucking the part with some tweezers. Once you pluck your part, you want to grab some concealer, translucent powder and tissue paper, paper towel or napkin.

Also keep some makeup remover with you, because you may need it, just in case any makeup gets on your fingers. So you want you to first place your wig inside out with the tissue on top, on your fingers.

Next, grab your concealer and lightly stroke the concealer along your part, gently layer by layer. Next grab your translucent powder and dab that translucent powder on the top of your part of your wig.

If you get any makeup on your fingers, well that’s when the makeup remover comes into use. And you are all set. The key is to make your wigs look realistic. And of course you want to make sure you take care of your natural hair underneath, but that’s another blog post. Until then, take care you guys. 💋

    At the core of your being, who are you? It’s so interesting that we get so caught up in other things, just to distract ourselves from our identity and divine purpose. Sometimes we get so caught up in how other people are living their lives, that we don’t take the time to enjoy our own. Yes, it’s good to admire others and get inspired by them, but you do not need to put your life on hold admiring them and wishing you had their life. 

    Sometimes, if we’re not careful, we’ll change who we are just to be like the person we’re emulating. I used to do this. I used to change my wardrobe, makeup look, and accent just to please everyone or to just blend in, but as I’ve grown a little older, I’ve realized that it’s best to just be who you are. Being someone else is exhausting. It can cause unnecessary stress, and is not healthy when it comes to friendships and a courtship. 

You want connections that start with authenticity. Otherwise, you just create pain and frustration for yourself and the other person. Who you are is enough.